today you will learn 8 ways on how to be more social. Some people are naturally social, while others struggle at being social. Introverted people are most anxious around strangers and are not comfortable around people. People who are not social do not fancy small talk, and the thought of talking to people triggers their anxiety.
Non-social people usually enjoy their own company and are more reflective than others. Spending a lot of time by yourself makes it difficult for you to let other people in your world and may close you off from the world. The world is tailored for extroverts as it is easier to be a confident person who knows how to express your feelings.
You have to know how to represent your values well if you want to achieve anything in life. The social capital you build from your social connections is crucial for your personal development; you become happier and open more doors for yourself.
Becoming more social takes a lot of practice and mental work and enriches your personality gradually.
This guide is meant for that person who feels like they spend too much time by themselves or those that do not talk a lot when around people and want to be better at socializing.
8 Ways On How To Be More Social:
1. Start Small:
Socializing does not come automatically to some people; they require bay steps to being social. Learn to expand your comfort zone slowly and not rush things. The things you are used to doing alone, start incorporating other people in your plans.
If you are used to going for coffee alone or with an old friend, try asking a new friend or colleague out for coffee and feel the difference. Stop just visiting the same place for lunch or coffee and try out other places with different people.
Target places with plenty of people you don’t know well and try making new friends. When in a gathering, do not just talk to your friend alone but try starting small talks with other people present.
Are you worried about how to start a conversation? You can start by just greeting a person and asking their name to sound friendly or just commenting about the events happening at that time. Grab all opportunities where people are gathered to talk to people who are in your circle, but you do not know very well.
2. Change How You Talk To Yourself:
Your projection of yourself greatly affects your social life. If you feel like people judge you when you walk around or when you talk, you may inhibit yourself and make it difficult for you to be social. Your self-esteem greatly reflects on how you carry yourself around people.
If you usually judge yourself or view yourself negatively, it is likely that you will feel that other people are also judgmental toward you. Feeling judgmental may push you to curve away from having a social life as you feel inferior. For example, the reason why you are introverted maybe because you feel that you have a bad voice and fear talking to people because they will notice it too.
Changing how you talk to yourself will improve your self-esteem. Re-affirm yourself anytime you start feeling insecure about yourself and accept that you, just like everyone else, have flaws, and that is okay. Challenge your self-critical voice by disapproving of any negative talk. Learn to take control of your subconscious mind and train yourself to always be positive about yourself.
For example, instead of telling yourself that you are weird and awkward, you can say that sometimes you are awkward, and it’s okay. Accept yourself and have the confidence to talk to people without minding what they say about you.
Ensure that you are always compassionate to yourself and talk to yourself with a kind perspective. When you are compassionate about yourself, you worry less about being judged by others.
3. Meet People With The Same Interests As You:
To easily socialize with people, target the people who share your interests. It is easier to interact with these people as you already have something in common and you can even talk about the little details of the interests. There is a greater chance to find like-minded people in a group that caters to your interests.
Put yourself in situations where you meet people who are into the same things that you are. Start by thinking about what you like and how you can turn it into something social. Meeting new people and socializing in new environments is essential to growing your social life.
Also, find hobbies that are social so to expose yourself to other people while having fun. For example, if you love reading, join a book club, and you’ll get to meet people with who you can easily relate.
Reading out to other people will also help boost your self-confidence and improve your social skills. If you love swimming, consider going swimming in public pools where there are many new people, and you have higher chances to get along with them.
Start simple conversations regarding your hobby with the new people you meet. Be frequent to visit places where you carry out your hobbies and make it a routine to talk to new people. You will easily connect with people that you share a hobby and improve your social life.
4. Do Not Control Yourself All The Time:
Switch off the auto censorship that makes you control yourself all the time. You find that most of the time, you are cautious of what you say because you fear people to judge you, while in the real sense, people are less judgmental and have thrown issues to worry about.
If you keep controlling yourself, you probably won’t have anything to say, and if you make it a habit, it will ruin your social life.
Enjoy being with people without always questioning everything you want to say. You do not need alcohol or drugs to let your guards go and speak freely when you are around others—air out your opinions about topics being discussed without any fear.
You should not control or limit yourself from speaking out just because you think that your contribution will not be taken kindly. It is healthy to have constructive critics as it opens room for interaction with other people.
Do not overthink about anything by questioning yourself a million times. Even if numerous questions cross your mind, just become a way of them and try to let them pass. Speaking out of your mind will help you gain confidence when talking to other people.
5. Learn To Act Likable:
When you act like an introvert, it’s difficult for people to approach you or engage you in their talks. Try acting how lickable likable people act to efficiently socialize with others. Positive feedback from other people is a great motivation for becoming more social.
Smile more often to other people. If you are not used to it, you can start training yourself Infront of the mirror to attain that honest smile. It is easier to interact with a smiling person than one who is always frowning. Always speak out loud and clear, so people don’t have to strain to hear you.
When someone talks to you, ask them questions that show you are following the conversation to boost their ego. Ask questions pen for discussion so that you don’t get stuck on the yes and no responses. Create room for more conversations when you get a chance to talk to people.
Ask people for advice to feel important and validated. When you make people feel important to you, they will feel more comfortable around you to start conversations and also involve you in their social activities.
6. Don’t Get Overwhelmed By People Who Speak A Lot:
Extroverts tend to talk too much in public and may intimidate a person learning to be social. Do not let people who speak too much make you feel less important or invalidate what you say.
Do not let yourself believe that extroverts have the best voices or have more important things to say. As a matter of fact, people who talk too much are not among the most interesting people as they become disturbing at times.
Believe in our self and do not compare ourselves with people who are too social. You are in the learning phase and, therefore, should not pressure yourself to be like the extroverts. You might admire their social life but do not let it overwhelm you.
7. Engage With Strangers:
Chatting with strangers strengthens your social skills as you want to create a first impression. It is easy to change from an introvert to an extrovert with a stranger compared to people who know you as they make it harder for you. People you know already have an impression of you and it might be challenging to change that.
Talking to random people by asking simple general questions like time or direction. You can start by greeting new people near you, for example on a bus, train or when queuing in the bank. Make small talks that match the current situation, and you will be surprised by the positive effect on your social life.
Being social has a lot to do with your self-esteem and self-image. Learning to be social is a gradual process and requires patience to achieve your target. Learn to appreciate your small wins regardless of how minute they might seem. You need to understand where you are coming from in order to appreciate your journey.
Suppose you are still having a problem being social even after trying the above methods. It’s advisable to seek help from a therapist. They will help you identify what you want to achieve from being more social and give you more tips to get there.